September in the Rain

It's another rainy day here. I've been thinking a lot about work/rest rhythms (something my church talks about...and my husband's employer).  In our culture, work reigns supreme.  If you aren't stressed enough, you must not have worked hard.  But what is work for a child?  This popped up on my Facebook feed earlier:

"Play is often talked about as if it were relief from serious learning.  But for children, play is serious learning.  Play is the work of childhood." -Fred Rogers

My kids play a lot, especially my three youngest.  They are busy.  Their minds are moving a mile a minute.  They create, run, fight bad guys, fly, embark on adventures, raise children, cook meals...all in a day's work.

And I work.  I cook, I clean, I exercise.  The kids join me in these things too; sometimes because they want to, sometimes because I ask.  There are no set times for these things.  They happen as we go, as they need to.  If the sink is full, the dishes get done. If we're hungry, we eat.

It's the same with rest.  We have no set time for rest, though I see the value in it.  My younger son needs a nap every day, and my younger daughter can usually use one too.  I know they need rest when I see it in their eyes or in their behavior.  And I know when I need rest too.

Rather than telling them to nap, I've been trying to invite them into rest, just like I invite them into other things that I do.  Today I told them, "I need to lie down, and I think you might too!"  My little guy goes down without much fuss.  In fact, he likes for two baby gates to be placed in his doorway, one stacked on top of the other.  Must make him feel secure in some way.  My five year old tells me she doesn't need to lie down, and that she will play in her room quietly.  Sometimes she does.  Today she crawled into bed with me.  My older kids will usually do something quiet, like write or draw, or play cards.

Not planning this opens us up to participate in opportunities outside of our home, like field trips, or parties.  If they fall asleep in the car on the way to or from another place, that's okay.  I know from my own experience that sometimes a ten minute nap can be more refreshing than two hours.  And they learn to roll with various circumstances that way.  Sometimes this might mean an earlier or later bedtime, and that's okay too.

Since we started unschooling the mantra that keeps running through my mind is this:

"'Everything is permissible'- but not everything is beneficial" -1 Corinthians 10:23a

This goes for kids too.  I'm not teaching them to have my idea of healthy rhythms.  I'm showing them how I have self-control, and respecting them enough to allow them to make these decisions based on their bodies' needs.

Today when Boo woke up at the foot of my bed I asked her, "Did you have a good nap?"
She sighed and said, "Yes."
"It feels good to let your body rest doesn't it?"
"Yeah."
And she'll remember that good feeling.