Learning to Fly

If there was ever a moment when I had a clear view of what unschooling really is, it was tonight.  Tonight the clouds parted, the angels sang, and the light shone into my bedroom, of all places.  Tonight my seven year old daughter brought me a book.  It wasn't a storybook, but a picture book about animals...only a couple of sentences per page with a handful of animal names.  I was puzzled why she wanted me to read this one.  But then she told me, "I'm going to read this one."  I sat back and simply said, "Okay, shoot!"  And that's when it happened.  She read.  Everything from spider to kestrel to corncrake.  Then she read the question at the bottom.  And then, the sentences at the top of the page.  My jaw dropped and my eyes began to well up. 

I suppose I should have seen this coming.  I have enough friends who've been down the unschool road to have heard the stories of children who self taught.  And, say what you will about video games, but yesterday she rattled off a good amount of words that she appeared to be "reading" from Minecraft.  But when I asked her how she knew them she just replied that her brother told her what they said.  What I hadn't thought about at the time, though, was that she remembered all those words.  Words like inventory.  Big words.  Still, I didn't take much notice.

But tonight, she read a book she'd never read before. And after that one, she ran and got another, a level 1 reader, and read that whole book to me for good measure.  She went to bed with our camping lantern, two level 2 readers, one level 3 reader and the promise that we can read to the point of exhaustion tomorrow.  She is inspired, and I didn't do a thing to inspire her.  I have not taught this child anything besides basic letter sounds, and even that was months and months ago.  Tonight the most I helped her with was proper pronunciation of words like wear (she was saying weer), because let's face it, the English language makes no sense.  But still, she managed to sound out 90% of the words completely unassisted.  Amazing!

This child wants to learn.  All children want to learn.  They don't need an adult to tell them that they want to learn.  They don't need an adult to teach them.  They don't need a grade level, or worksheets, or homework.  They just need to be given the freedom to learn when they are ready.  When I think of all the lessons I did with my nine year old son...to be honest, I feel like a lot of it was wasted time.  Had I just waited until the right moment, the moment for him to be ready, it would have been so much easier and less time consuming.  And it would have been his, not mine.  But we live and we learn.

I'm so proud of this girl!  And I'm excited for her as she begins this new adventure full of new discoveries.  What a happy time this is for her!

 

Good Vibrations

We've had a wonderful few weeks. My mother came into town, my girls started Girl Scouts, and our unschooler group went on our Not Back to School camping trip to Warren Dunes in Sawyer, Michigan. The passing of these events have marked the end of Summer for us. There's really no denying it as I watch the leaves fall in the backyard. But that's okay. There's something cozy about Fall. We had a lovely storm ring in the new season this morning. A nice day to sit, play card games, and drink hot peppermint tea.

I've realized these few weeks that we needed to deschool more than I'd originally thought. We remained so busy all Summer that once it came down to thinking about "schoolish" things again, I found I just couldn't gather my thoughts. Some wonderful friends gave me good advice to just take it slow, and spend one on one time with each child every day. So that's our starting point. I did get our Life of Fred Butterflies book out today to read with the two oldest kids, and that was about as schoolish as we got. But it's a start.  I'm not in a hurry.  In fact, in my lack of structure lately, my kids have spent plenty of time playing video games, but something was even birthed from that for my son.  He began telling his dad and I tonight about a comic book series he wants to begin writing.  The wheels are already turning for him.

I think the best part about this time is observing and taking note of the blessings that come with this lifestyle.  My son is so happy.  He smiles all the time now.  I had wondered at one point if he would ever be a happy child, and now he is.  Life doesn't have to be so complicated.  There's no race to any imagined finish line.  We're all here in this together, and there is space for peace and growth.

And I am growing.  There are so many things I thought I'd never be able to accomplish since having kids because in my mind there were just too many things we had to get done.  But nothing is so pressing now that I don't have room to pursue my interests too.  On my "Bucket List", so to speak, for a long time had been learning to crochet, to sew, play guitar, and get healthy.  Last Spring I taught myself to crochet, last week my neighbor, some friends and I started making strides toward the goal of getting healthy (hopefully resulting in an unschooling 5K team in the coming months), and tonight I began learning to play my grandfather's guitar.  I've started all of these things before. Now I'm able to actually follow through.

Living this lifestyle is a breath of fresh air.  It may seem directionless to some, but it's actually a wide open field with many paths that overlap.  It's a very happy time for my kids and me.  I'm so thankful that we decided to jump in with both feet.

Summertime

What a crazy fast, whirlwind summer we've had!  I really don't know how it's September already.  We played hard, took a couple of vacations out of state, and found some fun local stuff to do too.

Vacationing with small kids can be hard.  Much of is it just plain work.  But today I finally unloaded all of our pictures and was delighted to see that amidst all the craziness, we really did have a lot of fun!

We started with a trip to Chicago.  We got killer deals on City Passes, and being always on the lookout for educational experiences, I decided the most logical idea was to cram four museums into three days. Ha!  Sounds nuts, but we had great fun during the day.  Nights, not so much, but that's what we get for sharing a single room with four children.  (Never again!)  We visited the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, Adler Planetarium, and Museum of Science and Industry.  We are incredibly blessed to live so close to such amazing places!

But we live even nearer to some other places of interest.  The Studebaker Museum is basically in our backyard.  We were invited to go with some new friends one day a couple of weeks ago, and had a great time absorbing some local history.  We even got to see the car from The Muppet Movie!

Finally we just got back from Cedar Point.  This is totally my husband's thing.  He is a bona fide, self-proclaimed roller coaster geek.  Every year we go, and every year I walk around in circles ruing the day we bought those darned tickets.  But even in my misery, the kids so enjoy their over-priced carnival rides, so as a mother you just grin and bear it, right?

What's neat about Cedar Point that even appeals to me is their Dinosaurs Alive! exhibit.  Very cool and humbling to see life-sized dinos up close and personal.  I loved that Punk got to see what Sue from Field Museum would have looked like!

What I love more than anything, though, is the little learning moments here and there that aren't scheduled.  Boo loves to touch and smell everything she comes into contact with. Her curiosity is precious.  Coming out of a toll road rest stop she just had to stop and feel a pillar.  We took just a few minutes and compared the feel of the bricks, mortar, cement, and caulk.  While leaving the hotel one day we observed a katydid climbing the wall.  On the path to see the dinosaurs she stopped to touch a grasshopper.  Little moments that mean a lot.  Perhaps those brief memories will live on in her mind.  Who knows what memories will stick?

Another impromptu lesson was Dude asking to use my camera at the park.  There are no automatic settings on my "good camera".  It's all manual.  So I showed him how to use it as well as I could in the short time we had while his sisters and brothers were on a ride.  I set the ISO and aperture for him, and he set to figuring out the shutter speed.  After a few tries, he didn't do too shabby!

All in all, great times were had.  Memories were made.  We invested time in one another.  And the fun in the sun isn't over yet!  Monday is my birthday (yay!), Thursday is Punk's birthday (whaaah!) and in a week and a half we'll go camping with our unchooling friends.  The latter promises to provide some good photo ops as most of us are inexperienced campers!  Ha!  Until next time...

The Times They Are a-Changin'

Since we've been deschooling and drifting into unschooling I've already noticed some pretty great differences in the way our day to day life looks.  Here are a handful of things that have stuck out to me.

*Mealtimes are a joint effort.  In the past I would make one thing and one thing only.  If my kids wanted it, great.  If not, they wouldn't eat.  Today for lunch I made myself a spinach quesadilla.  Bebe (7) made Punk (2) a "peanut butter taco".  Boo Boo (5) made herself a peanut butter sandwich.  Dude (9) and Bebe requested egg sandwiches.  While my quesadilla was in the oven, I fried up some eggs, and they took care of making the sandwiches themselves.  They all poured themselves their own milk and I got Punk's for him.  It's like a well-oiled machine.  No fighting.  No tears.  Just everyone doing for themselves or others.

*We have time.  We have time for reading together.  We have time to do chores at relaxed pace.  We have time to play games.  There isn't a whole lot of "We'll do that after..."  Of course, things still come up, but for the most part we're free to be doing whatever we please.  The other day we were invited on an impromptu outing to a local museum and we just went!  The fast-paced life we'd created is slowing down and we're able to just be and enjoy each other's company.

*I don't yell.  I don't need to yell.  Now that I've had the ability to sit back and realize that most of my NOs were out of frustration or unwarranted, the need for yelling has gone away.  And if I do ever have to yell, they will know it's for a really good reason.

*Dude is happy.  This is my introverted child, the one people were concerned about at a very young age because he was "too shy" or wouldn't "make eye contact", the one who almost certainly had ADHD, the one who cried through lessons daily.  He smiles.  His outbursts are less frequent.  The other day he jumped into my dad's lap, all 80 lbs. of him, squeezing his neck and rocking, saying, "I love my Papa!"  He's taken on some responsibility for his siblings without me asking.  He asks a lot of questions and tells me all about what he's been reading.  He hugs me often.  He is a different boy.  That alone is priceless.

My Girl

This little lady is my oldest daughter.  She is beautiful...like model beautiful, and she knows it.  She has no shortage of confidence.  She is smart and silly.  She is a royal princess who isn't afraid of mud.  She is full of life and full of joy.  And she doesn't listen worth a lick. 

Of my four children, I would say she's my biggest challenge.  I have struggled for years knowing how to deal with her.  When we go out to get in the car she runs down the street.  In stores she always manages to turn a corner or hide under something.  She runs as far ahead, or lags as far behind us as she possibly can.  She is a handful.

Many, many times I've felt like I needed a manual to figure this kid out.  I've tried just about every sort of discipline I can imagine...time-outs and grounding, paying back and saying sorry.  What do you do with a child who just won't be tamed?

She is a free spirit...a hippie child.  And I find myself wondering, why do I want to change this?  There is so much beauty in her carefree world, but it doesn't fit into our standards of proper behavior.  This is the wonderful thing about homeschooling.  She doesn't have to be bound to someone else's standards.  WE don't have to be bound to someone else's standards.  Because, you see, it is me who is in bondage here.  It's me who makes it a problem.  Deep down I know my annoyance, and much of my disciplinary measures, come from embarrassment over feeling like I don't have control of my child.   

It's funny how you don't realize the poor way you've treated your child until you see yourself in someone else.  When someone else reacts negatively to her, my blood boils and my heart breaks.  In those moments I see her clearly.  I take a step back and recognize this innocent kid who simply wants to know how far she can push the boundaries, who wants attention and love, who wants and needs some space to figure it out.

I fully admit, I don't have this one pegged.  One thing I've been doing for a while now is telling her what a great leader she is.  She can walk into a room not knowing a single soul and within minutes she has everyone doing what she does.  Children love her.  So I tell her, with leadership comes responsibility, that she needs to remember to lead in a positive way.  Another thing we do is dates.  With her siblings around she can be difficult, but by herself she's a different kid.  She needs undivided attention on a regular basis.  One drawback of this is she's begun to associate date with buying stuff.  We're working on this.  :)

I'm definitely open to more suggestions.  How do I take a step back and allow her some freedom while guiding her in a positive way?  How do I come alongside her and help her harness this energy for good?  Do any of you have children like this?  If so, how do you do it?