Space Oddity

Now that I've finished my Pam Laricchia books, I'm onto the "Bible" of unschooling...better known as Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling. I'm barely 1/6 of the way into it and I already have so much to say! For starters, I love that this book is broken down into very specific, bite sized nuggets. You can pretty much turn to any page at any time. No need to read it cover to cover...although I am. Seldom have I found a book that speaks so clearly to my soul. She has written things that I've said, or thought already! Below is one of the quotes from the book that made me question, did she read my mind?!

"School has become so much a part of life in the past few decades that it seems to some that taking their children out of school is like leaving the planet altogether."

I have often used the analogy that our first day of NOT sending our son to Kindergarten was like floating out in space. It was a weightless, groundless, quiet void where I didn't really know what to do with myself or him. I had that feeling again this summer when I made the decision to unschool...even had a dream about being on a space station, which I could only attribute to that lost in space feeling. It's the perfect description because it's so true. To make the steps to homeschooling and unschooling, for a person like me, is to leave behind everything you know and step into uncharted territory. You only have the stories of those who've gone before you with their own families to give you the momentum to keep going and keep trying new things.

However, I have discovered that I'm naturally more of an unschooler than I'd previously thought. I have always struggled with schedules, and we were never very good at "doing school". Last year I remember a friend posting pictures of her children celebrating their 100th day of school, and upon looking at the calendar I realized we'd only completed about 50 sit-at-a-desk days of school ourselves. While I used to view this as a negative, I now see the positive in it.

In the book, Sandra talks about the importance of deschooling. The suggested guideline is to deschool your children one month for every year of traditional schooling before really getting the unschooling ball rolling. Further, she recommends parents do the same. For me, that would be 13 months of deschooling (one month for each of my years in public school K-12, and not counting nursery school or college). We have been deschooling since June and I'm happy to report that my children have not lost their joy of learning, especially not my youngest three. I'm so grateful for that! My oldest is not as carefree as his siblings yet, but he still eagerly pores over books about tornadoes, spies, and the periodic table of elements. And I already have the curiosity and desire for closeness with my children that is so crucial for unschooling parents to have. This gives me confidence that we will not need to deschool for any extended period of time, though I will give my oldest more time than the others. I feel he deserves that.

There are laws, however, and Sandra does make mention of knowing them. Thankfully the state we live in requires only that we keep attendance 180 days of the year. To one in the unschooling camp, this is no problem. Children learn 365 days a year. Check!  But for the sake of keeping us covered, I've decided to record their learning, quietly, as to not distract them, for at least 180 days of the year. Today it went something like this:

E:
Read book, Tornado! (Reading, Science)
Played Minecraft (Math, Geometry, Technology)
Wrote letter to friend (Language Arts, Writing, Grammar, Handwriting, Spelling)
Ran around the yard pretending to be a Ninja (Phys. Ed.)
Started learning about making stop-motion videos (Technology)

A and B:
Discussed and compared small, medium, and large toys at dentist's office (Math)
Discussed shape toys at dentist's office (Math, Geometry)
Talked about Easter Island statues prompted by National Geographic mag (History)
Observed and picked out snails at PetSmart (Science)
Picked up various items for dog, cat, rabbit, and fish (Science, Health)
Made bead necklaces to spell their names (Writing, Spelling, Fine Motor, Art)
Played "smoothie making" and "doctor" iPad apps (Health, Science, Technology)
Painted paper (Art, Fine Motor)

S:
Played Endless Alphabet iPad app (Language Arts, Pre-reading, Technology)
Washed hands by himself (Health)
Learned that sunny spots are warmer than shady ones (Science)
Painted and cut paper (Art, Fine Motor)

All:
Took dog on walk around neighborhood (Geography, Science, Health, Phys. Ed.)
Released a tree frog we raised from a tadpole (Science)
Watched Jaws (Science, Technology)
Lived, worked and played together, and interacted with others (Socialization)

The list could go on and on. The beauty is, it's not complicated. These are real life lessons that would have otherwise been replicated in a classroom, undoubtedly in worksheet form. How much sweeter is it to be just fluid parts of life? The children have no idea these things can be broken down into subjects. Their world isn't compartmentalized. It just is. So while this place might feel otherworldly, I'll take it. We are blessed to live this life! I'm so anxious to see where this grand adventure takes us!

What a Wonderful World

I've been thinking a lot about how to approach the upcoming school year.  The reality is, we won't be following a traditional school year, as we'll be learning year-round.  But it's hard not to think about it when there is so much talk about boxes of curriculum arriving, or school start dates. My problem is I'm a disorganized perfectionist.  I want so badly to do everything...just. right.  But when I quickly discover that a project is not cut and dry...it's like I become frozen, not knowing what to do, so I just do nothing.  This summer has been like that.  There are SO many things I've wanted to do and I can feel summer slipping through our fingers.  Of course...our summer can be as long as the weather allows, which is comforting. 

I've been learning a lot about unschooling through friends, and was surprised to hear that there are very different schools of thought (no pun intended).  There is everything from radical unschooling to relaxed, interest-led learning. I'm not exactly sure where we'll fall.  Right now I just know that I want my children to have the freedom to make natural connections and I believe they also need my guidance to make good decisions sometimes.  We'll see how that evolves as we really get into a groove.  Perhaps I won't have to do any pushing.  Wouldn't that be nice?!

I envision our family learning through nature, technology, the library, hands-on experience...  I do not envision us using text books or grading performance through tests.  That said, we have a science curriculum that we all LOVE called R.E.A.L. Science Odyssey (published through Pandia Press).  This past year we began with the Level One study of Life Science.  It is advertised for Grades 1-4, which fits our family well.  I've found it's engrossing for my 9 and 7 year olds, if a little above my 5 year old's head (though she did enjoy the labs and pick up some of the lingo). 

Since beginning this unschooling shift I've been a little at a loss about how to approach this.  Do I continue to follow the order of the lessons?  What if I can't find snails when it's the snail lesson?!  So, tonight I pulled together my scattered thoughts and I've decided the answer is to use the labs as they fit.  Seems simple, right?  While this might not sound like a big deal to some, it's our first step out of the box, making curriculum work for us!  So tomorrow morning we plan to take a nature walk.  We will collect things, and take pictures, and see where the chips fall.  And we may not even finish the book.  Or maybe we will....next year.  Crazy talk, I tell ya!

Your Mother Should Know

This handsome guy is my firstborn, the oldest of four...or as I affectionately call him, my guinea pig.  From the time I was a little bitty girl I knew I wanted to be a mother.  I thought for certain that after years of careful planning and preparation I would have been better suited for this role.  The reality was, of course, that I had no clue.  From the moment of his birth I began to make a mental count of all the mistakes I was making.  As he grew, so did the list.  Such is the life of every mother, I think.

The one thing I knew was that I didn't want to leave him.  I praised God when my husband landed his job, just days before I was to return to work after maternity leave.  I'd held my baby and cried, wondering how I'd be able to function every day knowing that he was away from me.  The relief of knowing I could be home with him was like nothing I'd ever experienced prior. 

That feeling of dread arose again in me when I'd begin to imagine his school years and those of his siblings after him.  It wasn't that I didn't trust the teachers, or that I felt I could do a better job, or feared drugs, or violence, or any of that.  I just simply wanted to observe every moment of his growth that I could.  The idea of letting someone else experience that with my child made me feel robbed.  You never, ever get those precious moments back. 

And so we began the way every other homeschooler I knew began...with curriculum and a plan.  (I'm laughing out loud reading that last line back.)  Oh yes, I had my plan.  And we were going to have FUN!  But funny thing...he had no interest in my plan.  And rather than put the curriculum aside (I paid for it, darn it!), I began with the pushing.  And I pushed, and I pushed, right on from preschool through third grade.  I curriculum-hopped.  I wrote strict schedules.  We sat many a day at the table tediously working through tear-soaked math lessons while the school kids were walking home for the day. 

He was miserable.  And I was miserable.

And I yelled.  And he yelled.

And I threatened...  I'll put him in school, I thought.  Surely they are better suited to deal with this child than I am.  I was ruining him...and our relationship.

Alas, one day a friend asked a simple question about unschooling on our local Facebook homeschooling page.  I'd heard the term before, but didn't know much.  I began to research and ask questions, much like I started my homeschooling journey 7 years ago.  And once again I got that feeling...I can do this.  Only this time there is no plan.  This time I have to relinquish control.  I have to trust that my child knows what he needs and wants better than I do.  I have to trust that I'm not going to cause him or our relationship further damage.

So, about a month ago we ceased all lessons.  Boom.  We were done with the school year.  I couldn't take it any longer and I knew he couldn't either.  And what I've found is very encouraging.  He asks brilliant questions and has fascinating ideas!  He keeps a journal and writes funny poems.  And he's even done some dreaded math...on his own...because he wants to!  We've gone to museums and watched documentaries.  I "strewed" some classic books on his Kindle slot and when he saw them he said he didn't like them.  Then after careful consideration he said, "You know, maybe I will read those books because I bet they're good for me."

My other children are developing their own interests as well, of course. My oldest daughter wants to learn about car motors.  I would have never known that if I hadn't given her the freedom to tell me.  My younger daughter is learning to bake and decorate pastries.  My youngest guy, not yet three years old, loves to tell me about the "outer space moon" and SCUBA diving with sharks. 

We are getting there.  I am learning to trust not only them, but my instincts.  What I used to think was a tendency toward laziness on my part, I'm learning, is actually my natural instinct to let my kids be kids.  I never was good at scheduling our day.  I hated that they didn't get enough time to play outside.  Now the world is our playground.  I'm starting to embrace this freedom instead of fear it.  We are learning this together.  And one thing I can thank my eldest for is making me a better mother to his siblings than the one he got at their ages.  I hope someday he'll look back and see that he taught me more than I can ever hope to teach him.