September in the Rain

It's another rainy day here. I've been thinking a lot about work/rest rhythms (something my church talks about...and my husband's employer).  In our culture, work reigns supreme.  If you aren't stressed enough, you must not have worked hard.  But what is work for a child?  This popped up on my Facebook feed earlier:

"Play is often talked about as if it were relief from serious learning.  But for children, play is serious learning.  Play is the work of childhood." -Fred Rogers

My kids play a lot, especially my three youngest.  They are busy.  Their minds are moving a mile a minute.  They create, run, fight bad guys, fly, embark on adventures, raise children, cook meals...all in a day's work.

And I work.  I cook, I clean, I exercise.  The kids join me in these things too; sometimes because they want to, sometimes because I ask.  There are no set times for these things.  They happen as we go, as they need to.  If the sink is full, the dishes get done. If we're hungry, we eat.

It's the same with rest.  We have no set time for rest, though I see the value in it.  My younger son needs a nap every day, and my younger daughter can usually use one too.  I know they need rest when I see it in their eyes or in their behavior.  And I know when I need rest too.

Rather than telling them to nap, I've been trying to invite them into rest, just like I invite them into other things that I do.  Today I told them, "I need to lie down, and I think you might too!"  My little guy goes down without much fuss.  In fact, he likes for two baby gates to be placed in his doorway, one stacked on top of the other.  Must make him feel secure in some way.  My five year old tells me she doesn't need to lie down, and that she will play in her room quietly.  Sometimes she does.  Today she crawled into bed with me.  My older kids will usually do something quiet, like write or draw, or play cards.

Not planning this opens us up to participate in opportunities outside of our home, like field trips, or parties.  If they fall asleep in the car on the way to or from another place, that's okay.  I know from my own experience that sometimes a ten minute nap can be more refreshing than two hours.  And they learn to roll with various circumstances that way.  Sometimes this might mean an earlier or later bedtime, and that's okay too.

Since we started unschooling the mantra that keeps running through my mind is this:

"'Everything is permissible'- but not everything is beneficial" -1 Corinthians 10:23a

This goes for kids too.  I'm not teaching them to have my idea of healthy rhythms.  I'm showing them how I have self-control, and respecting them enough to allow them to make these decisions based on their bodies' needs.

Today when Boo woke up at the foot of my bed I asked her, "Did you have a good nap?"
She sighed and said, "Yes."
"It feels good to let your body rest doesn't it?"
"Yeah."
And she'll remember that good feeling.

Breathe

You may have noticed by now that the names of my posts are song titles.  Tonight's is no different.  The title of this post is inspired by a song by the band The Brilliance, whom I had the pleasure of seeing and meeting last December at a friend's house show.  The first time I heard this song I lied in bed and sobbed (and like any good fan I shared that with lead singer/guitarist, David Gungor).

The reason I use song titles is because, well...they're fun...and music is so important in my life.  I don't play any instruments (yet...working on guitar) but I do sing, and I find myself in awe of people who can write and perform music that can stir up people's hearts.  It's not just something I listen to for background noise.  Songs become part of me, ingrained in my soul.  Good songs are like dear friends who bring back emotions you once felt or create new ones. 

When I first heard this song I was reminded of God breathing life into Adam's nostrils, but over the last year it's taken on whole new meaning.  Now, I'm not big into labeling people, as we're all complex beings, but just a couple of years ago I would have proudly considered myself a Young Earth Creationist, meaning I took the Bible literally in its account of the beginning of the world and everything in it.  I was not always there.  Before professing my faith in Christ in college I wholeheartedly embraced evolution, as an Anthropology student, and viewed the world through scientific glasses. But upon becoming a Christian I very much was led to believe I had to choose God or science, and I, of course, chose God. 

My world was rocked a year or so ago when I discovered that it was not so black and white.  I found a Bible curriculum for my kids called Telling God's Story, and I liked that it followed the Classical model that I was following at the time.  I quickly discovered, however, that author Peter Enns had caused quite the controversy in the homeschool world as he had butted heads with Ken Ham, head of Answers in Genesis.  Intrigued, I began to read Dr. Enns' other books, specifically The Evolution of Adam and Inspiration and Incarnation, and found that they opened up all new possibilities in my mind and heart...that Genesis is full of myth and poetry, and borrowed stories from surrounding cultures.  And what he said made sense!  The Bible was written in a form the people of those times could understand, just as Jesus came in a form with which the people of his era could relate.

This made me feel free in some ways, and broke my heart in others.  I now have the freedom to embrace the wonder of evolution once again.  I no longer have to weed out the books that say "millions and billions" at the library.  We are able to walk the halls of museums and soak up everything they have to offer.  But I went through almost a mourning period also, and I still struggle with knowing how to read the Bible.  It's like being a child who has just found out Santa Claus isn't real, only on a much, much larger scale.  At times I find myself trying to nitpick what's fact and what's not, when that's really not the point at all.

In my bewilderment and excitement I've wanted to share what's on my heart, and that's been hard.  The homeschooling community in our area is primarily Christian, and of those Christians, most are YECs.  It's been difficult to know how much to share, and with whom to share.  Some friends have lovingly disagreed with me.  Some people have applauded me for stepping out.  Some have flat out told me I'm not a Christian.  One woman actually asked me to apologize for posting a link on a homeschool board about Christian homeschooling parents desiring evolution in Christian curriculum.  But there's one thing I keep going back to: the Bible, as sacred as it is, is not what I worship.  I am a Christ follower.  I believe Christ is who he said he was, I believe he died for us because he loves us, and I believe he will return.  This is my foundation. 

So now when I hear this song, it's takes on a much deeper meaning.  God didn't just breathe life into the first man.  The Holy Spirit is breathing life into me today.  He speaks to me, sometimes through Scripture, sometimes in dreams, or through friends, or experiences.  He is not limited to words on a page.  He is within us and around us, vibrant and calling us into his ongoing story. 

I have alluded to this shift in my personal theological beliefs a few times on Facebook, and many times I've thought about being more explicit.  I guess you could call this post my "coming out".  I suppose the most accurate label for me now would be Evolutionary Creationist, but I'd prefer just to be called friend.