The reason I use song titles is because, well...they're fun...and music is so important in my life. I don't play any instruments (yet...working on guitar) but I do sing, and I find myself in awe of people who can write and perform music that can stir up people's hearts. It's not just something I listen to for background noise. Songs become part of me, ingrained in my soul. Good songs are like dear friends who bring back emotions you once felt or create new ones.
When I first heard this song I was reminded of God breathing life into Adam's nostrils, but over the last year it's taken on whole new meaning. Now, I'm not big into labeling people, as we're all complex beings, but just a couple of years ago I would have proudly considered myself a Young Earth Creationist, meaning I took the Bible literally in its account of the beginning of the world and everything in it. I was not always there. Before professing my faith in Christ in college I wholeheartedly embraced evolution, as an Anthropology student, and viewed the world through scientific glasses. But upon becoming a Christian I very much was led to believe I had to choose God or science, and I, of course, chose God.
My world was rocked a year or so ago when I discovered that it was not so black and white. I found a Bible curriculum for my kids called Telling God's Story, and I liked that it followed the Classical model that I was following at the time. I quickly discovered, however, that author Peter Enns had caused quite the controversy in the homeschool world as he had butted heads with Ken Ham, head of Answers in Genesis. Intrigued, I began to read Dr. Enns' other books, specifically The Evolution of Adam and Inspiration and Incarnation, and found that they opened up all new possibilities in my mind and heart...that Genesis is full of myth and poetry, and borrowed stories from surrounding cultures. And what he said made sense! The Bible was written in a form the people of those times could understand, just as Jesus came in a form with which the people of his era could relate.
This made me feel free in some ways, and broke my heart in others. I now have the freedom to embrace the wonder of evolution once again. I no longer have to weed out the books that say "millions and billions" at the library. We are able to walk the halls of museums and soak up everything they have to offer. But I went through almost a mourning period also, and I still struggle with knowing how to read the Bible. It's like being a child who has just found out Santa Claus isn't real, only on a much, much larger scale. At times I find myself trying to nitpick what's fact and what's not, when that's really not the point at all.
In my bewilderment and excitement I've wanted to share what's on my heart, and that's been hard. The homeschooling community in our area is primarily Christian, and of those Christians, most are YECs. It's been difficult to know how much to share, and with whom to share. Some friends have lovingly disagreed with me. Some people have applauded me for stepping out. Some have flat out told me I'm not a Christian. One woman actually asked me to apologize for posting a link on a homeschool board about Christian homeschooling parents desiring evolution in Christian curriculum. But there's one thing I keep going back to: the Bible, as sacred as it is, is not what I worship. I am a Christ follower. I believe Christ is who he said he was, I believe he died for us because he loves us, and I believe he will return. This is my foundation.
So now when I hear this song, it's takes on a much deeper meaning. God didn't just breathe life into the first man. The Holy Spirit is breathing life into me today. He speaks to me, sometimes through Scripture, sometimes in dreams, or through friends, or experiences. He is not limited to words on a page. He is within us and around us, vibrant and calling us into his ongoing story.
I have alluded to this shift in my personal theological beliefs a few times on Facebook, and many times I've thought about being more explicit. I guess you could call this post my "coming out". I suppose the most accurate label for me now would be Evolutionary Creationist, but I'd prefer just to be called friend.
What a great accomplishment it is, Khara, for you to write this. I'm impressed. My history is different but my fear of being misunderstood perhaps is much the same as yours. As a Catholic Christian, I was taught that some stories in the Bible are meant to be symbolic. I don't ever recall being asked to choose between science and faith. They both just fit together so very well. God created everything by design through a wonderful process. It's the study of God's design and creation process that we call science. So, it's only when I began homeschooling and hearing from so many Creationists did I start to feel like I couldn't really reveal my true beliefs to many of those around me. There are those of us who believe what you believe AND are faith-filled Christians AND homeschool. Maybe we are just all hiding in the shadows and we need people like you to call us out.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point, Annice. I didn't even really know where I was going when I started writing this. I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest once and for all. But if it helps other people gain confidence in their own beliefs, it was worth writing.
DeleteWow. What a powerful post. Your statement that "...the Bible, as sacred as it is, is not what I worship. I am a Christ follower." says sooo much to me. I was JUST thinking about the Bible yesterday and all the interpretations and rewrites over time that may have changed the intent somehow. I was raised Southern Baptist (Hellfire and damnation, that sort of thing). There was a lot of fear in almost everything I did; chewing gum, dancing, make-up. So glad that's over with! Your post here has really moved me, Honey. You continue to amaze me. But then, you always have. That I don't have to look at the Bible in a literal format is very comforting. I know Jesus. I know what he desires for us, his love, his forgiveness. That's really all I need, isn't it?
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