My Girl

This little lady is my oldest daughter.  She is beautiful...like model beautiful, and she knows it.  She has no shortage of confidence.  She is smart and silly.  She is a royal princess who isn't afraid of mud.  She is full of life and full of joy.  And she doesn't listen worth a lick. 

Of my four children, I would say she's my biggest challenge.  I have struggled for years knowing how to deal with her.  When we go out to get in the car she runs down the street.  In stores she always manages to turn a corner or hide under something.  She runs as far ahead, or lags as far behind us as she possibly can.  She is a handful.

Many, many times I've felt like I needed a manual to figure this kid out.  I've tried just about every sort of discipline I can imagine...time-outs and grounding, paying back and saying sorry.  What do you do with a child who just won't be tamed?

She is a free spirit...a hippie child.  And I find myself wondering, why do I want to change this?  There is so much beauty in her carefree world, but it doesn't fit into our standards of proper behavior.  This is the wonderful thing about homeschooling.  She doesn't have to be bound to someone else's standards.  WE don't have to be bound to someone else's standards.  Because, you see, it is me who is in bondage here.  It's me who makes it a problem.  Deep down I know my annoyance, and much of my disciplinary measures, come from embarrassment over feeling like I don't have control of my child.   

It's funny how you don't realize the poor way you've treated your child until you see yourself in someone else.  When someone else reacts negatively to her, my blood boils and my heart breaks.  In those moments I see her clearly.  I take a step back and recognize this innocent kid who simply wants to know how far she can push the boundaries, who wants attention and love, who wants and needs some space to figure it out.

I fully admit, I don't have this one pegged.  One thing I've been doing for a while now is telling her what a great leader she is.  She can walk into a room not knowing a single soul and within minutes she has everyone doing what she does.  Children love her.  So I tell her, with leadership comes responsibility, that she needs to remember to lead in a positive way.  Another thing we do is dates.  With her siblings around she can be difficult, but by herself she's a different kid.  She needs undivided attention on a regular basis.  One drawback of this is she's begun to associate date with buying stuff.  We're working on this.  :)

I'm definitely open to more suggestions.  How do I take a step back and allow her some freedom while guiding her in a positive way?  How do I come alongside her and help her harness this energy for good?  Do any of you have children like this?  If so, how do you do it?